The sandwich generation squeeze is real — but you don’t have to go it alone

She gives the example of Sarah, a divorced client who lost her father recently and whose mother is showing early signs of dementia. Sarah was worried, knowing she would need to help support her mother physically and financially, without knowing what those costs might be. On top of this, Sarah is preparing for a child to attend postsecondary education while saving for her own retirement. “These are competing objectives in the face of finite or limited financial resources,” Wood says. 

“It's also getting her to start thinking about her own situation, about not only how to help her mother, but what does she want for herself out of retirement?” she adds. “All of this starts to be quite overwhelming, because it's that potpourri of concerns just bouncing around in your head.” 

These stressors can take a financial, emotional and even physical toll. But with support from financial and health-care professionals, caregivers can live their lives focusing on what matters most to them now, while planning for their own future goals. 

Wood says that in situations like Sarah's, she takes a step-by-step approach to finding the right solutions to ensure everyone’s financial stability. That starts with an information gathering session — not just about finances but about lifestyle goals and options. The conversation may also include guidance on tax and investment strategies and estate planning.

Sarah's mother came to the meeting with Wood, and they worked together to create a plan. “It was a very supportive and empowering session that opened a dialogue between the mother and daughter so that they felt like they were partners in whatever solutions they decided on,” she says.

The next step was to examine Sarah's own situation, including her resources for her child’s education, and engaging her child in some discussions around budgeting so they knew how to manage their finances. Wood notes that it's important for adult children to learn that “financial resources are finite, and to understand what is going to be available to them in the near term and in the longer term so that they can plan for it.” 

After conversations like this, “everybody walks away — maybe not with 100% of what they want — but feeling empowered and knowing that they have options,” she adds. “The earlier these conversations can happen, the easier it is because if there is a need to pivot, you’ve got more of a runway to make adjustments to the plan.”

Women can sometimes put their own financial goals aside to support others, says Wood. For example, a 2024 study by Women of Influence+ in collaboration with CIBC found that 63% of women define wealth as supporting family and loved ones, and 56% said that familial expectations present a significant challenge in building wealth.

But women need to consider their own priorities and goals when financial planning, she says. A trusted advisor can help achieve that balance.

“Our advice is to open the dialogue among the impacted parties so that objectives and concerns are shared, and solutions can be identified that allow everyone to get what they need and not have only one person assume all the financial burden,” Wood says. “The dialogue should also include other siblings where possible to consider what each person can contribute in terms of time, finances and research if parents need support. I think it’s a very healthy approach if we find a way to address everybody’s needs.” 

Dr. Amy Cheng, an emergency medicine physician and member of Cleveland Clinic Canada’s Corporate Medical Director program, is familiar with the challenges faced by women in the sandwich generation. She points out that women in this stage of life need to have conversations with their loved ones about the future, even when it's difficult. Issues like power of attorney, for financial and health decisions, and end of life care need to be discussed while women are healthy.

“They are hard questions to ask, particularly in certain cultures,” Dr. Cheng says, noting that it can be helpful to involve a professional in these conversations. “If there is a crisis or if the parent is no longer cognitively able to make decisions for themselves, the family will be in a place to honour their wishes.”

Caregivers also need to focus on their own health and wellness and ensure they don’t burn out, Dr. Cheng adds. Reaching out to family and mental-health professionals can help reduce the burden. As well, caregivers looking after aging family members may be able to take advantage of resources such as meal programs, adult day programs, personal support workers, cleaning services, respite care, personalized home care and even temporary stays in assisted living facilities.

“Sometimes you just need a break,” she says, adding that primary care physicians can help identify local resources.

Both Wood and Dr. Cheng point out that it's critical for women in the sandwich generation to take care of themselves to keep stress and burnout at bay. Small actions prioritizing self-care can make a big difference, says Dr. Cheng. For example, if caregivers are feeling overwhelmed, she recommends taking microbreaks, such as a five-minute walk outside, time in a quiet room or just a moment to breathe.

“Make sure that you’re rested and that you’re taking care of yourself the best you can, so that you can mentally and physically be there and be capable to care for others.”